How to think about the negative stuff with 5 fingers

Do you like to think positive?
Or would you like to think more positive?

This is what we hear around us a lot. This is what is taught by all modern gurus.

Positive thinking. A positive mindset. Learn from your mistakes and turn them into a positive experience.

This is what we hear a lot lately. And generally speaking, positive thinking is nice. It gives us a nice, cozy, comfortable feeling.
Our problems, our bad experiences crumble with all our positive energy.

Do they?

Well, some negative thoughts, some negative experiences are just that.. minor annoyances, that indeed we can think away, turn positive.

But other things are very real. Illness. Loss. Deep backlashes that life throws at us.

Sure, we can learn something from almost everything. But shouldn’t we be entitles to feel negative emotions every once in a while?

Joy and happiness are just 2 of many emotions that we are capable off. What about anger? Sorrow? Grief? Jealousy?
All valid emotions. And all have a place. They are less comfortable than joy. But they are there for a reason. Very personal reasons maybe, or maybe things that life throws at us, maybe things that we can control, or things that we can’t.

But if we do not allow ourselves to feel all those “negative” emotions, how can we fix the root cause? Or at least change our perspective on them?

That’s the difference between positive thinking and a positive mindset.
Positive thinkers do not want to see the bad. Which means they have no way to fix it.

A positive mindset tries to approach life with a generally positive attitude, but it names the problems by the name and grabs them by the balls to fix them. Without being pulled down by too many negative thoughts.

Here’s one exercise to see positivity while being open for change and progress.
All you need is your hand.

The 5-finger reflexion method

Count through your fingers and think about your day:

1. the thumb: SUCCESS
   What went well today? What are my small, and big, successes?
   
2. the index finger: LEARNING
   What did I learn today? Which new experiences did I have?
   
3. the middle finger: F*CK UPS
   what did outright suck today and go really, REALLY wrong?
   
4. the ring finger: CONNECTION
   What were my positive interactions today? What I get or provide positive feedback or recognition for?
   
5. the pinky: SHORTCOMINGS
   What did I MISS today? What was lacking? What do I want to improve tomorrow?

This way, you can get a realistic and balanced view of your day. And with that, you can progress. And slowly and steadily improve little things, make your life more positive. While still allowing yourself to think of fuck-ups as what they are, still allow yourself to miss things and dislike things. And then act to change what you can change.

Go ahead and try it out right now! It only takes a few minutes, and I’m curious what you come up with 🙂

Imagine you had a 6th finger? What would you add? Let me know 👇, like and share if this was helpful.

Much love!
~Marius